Saying goodbye after layoffs takes tact, simple words

The dreaded moment has arrived. Your company has announced layoffs. The stunned workers who are being shown the door are heading to their desks to collect personal items. A tense silence hangs over the office.

It is tough to know how to say goodbye - from the departing employees, to the workers who've kept their jobs to managers whose response may be muted by company policy or workplace law. Yet the situation can be handled tactfully and with common sense.

"The worst is to ignore that person because you don't know how to treat them," said Gloria Petersen, president of Phoenix-based Global Protocol Inc. "I think people being laid off need to realize that their co-workers are feeling just as awkward and bad about the situation as they are."

How should I act?

Look, it's a sad time. It's fine to get teary-eyed or cry as you say goodbye. People will understand. Keep your goodbye simple. You don't have much time. "It was nice working with you, and I'm going to miss you" does the trick.

"How you handle yourself will say volumes about the kind of person you are to work with," said Anna Post, author and spokeswoman for the Emily Post Institute in Burlington, Vt. She is the great-great-granddaughter of famed etiquette expert Emily Post.

Don't burn bridges.

"It may be tempting to say a few choice words but you never, ever know what doors might reopen for you later on," Post said.

That said, in the exit interview you can ask about unclear expectations or performance problems.

Do your best to not take it personally.

Remember: "We're all caught up in a much greater systemic failure right now," Post said. In most cases, you did absolutely nothing wrong.

Don't want to talk about it?

That's fine. Maybe say, "If it's all right with you, I need to head out now, but I appreciate your thoughts and well wishes."

Give people your contact information.

It may be difficult for your co-workers to obtain this information once you're gone.

What should I say?

Once again, keep it simple. Maybe say, "I am so sorry. I've really enjoyed working with you," and follow it with a handshake.

Should I give a hug?

Maybe, but pay attention to their body language, your relationship and the company's culture.

How do I respond if the layoff victim bad-mouths the company?

Let them vent, but don't join in and give them ammunition.

When should I reach out to my former co-worker?

If you want to stay in touch, call them within a couple of days to a week. Tell them you've been thinking about them and maybe give them help, like a possible job lead. Do not be offended if they don't yet want to talk. They may need more time to deal with the loss of their job.

Should I send flowers or bake a cake?

No. Such gestures overdramatize the situation. This isn't a funeral. They didn't die.

What should I say?

"I'm sorry this had to happen." Avoid too much detail. It could make the situation worse.

Avoid false promises.

Don't say, "I'm sure there will be something coming up real soon" if you don't meant it.

Accentuate the positive.

Maybe point out a positive contribution that the laid-off employee made.

Be sincere.

This is not the time for a grandiose speech. You risk sounding like Steve Carell's bone-headed manager from NBC's The Office.